Kurt Cobain by Jake Poston

   Did Kurt Cobain really shoot himself using his, foot, a shotgun, heroin, and valium? The mystery shrouding the death of Kurt Cobain has grown into something, that to the newer generations, overshadows his great legacy as the lead-singer of Nirvana. The story goes such that Kurt had been a serial drug abuser since the age of thirteen and had never really fit in ever in his life. And despite his success, the hole that was inside him was never filled, not by drugs and not by fame. After years over this empty mainstream success Cobain and his band had lived, Kurt was still empty. So, the story goes, that one excessively drugged up night Kurt Cobain wrote one last message to those he left behind, and Boddah, his imaginary friend, stuck a shotgun in his mouth, and pulled the trigger with his foot. Many of his fans never bought this edition of the Cobain story, so what really happened? Many think it was his wife Courtney Love, others believe the government, and some stand by that it was Kurt who pulled the trigger. In this essay, we will dive into the information that is available and attempt to answer the question, who killed Kurt Cobain?]

            Kurt Cobain, in his heyday, was known for his punk, grunge rock that connected with put-out and hopeless teens around the globe. Sadly, to the youth of today he might be most well-known, not for his accomplishments, but rather his untimely passing and the mystery shrouding it. But Kurt Cobain is much more than just another celebrity who left this world too soon. He was much more than his music, and now he is much more than the mystery of how he died, he was lovable, and tragically, misunderstood, that’s who Kurt was, and that’s the person the public didn’t see until it was too late, and it was the person that the public ultimately forgot about over the passage of time, instead he was categorized into punk star or conspiracy theory, and that’s a shame.

            In the years after his death, the public got more insight into Kurt, the real person, than they had ever had before. In the seemingly never-ending wave of interviews following that fateful day in 1994, the general sense that Kurt’s friends and family gave was a simple one, the world had lost an angel, someone who was so loved because he was so “caring, generous, and sweet.” (Reilly 1). There are endless quotes about Kurt, the nice guy, the one was that was just “lovable” and “endearing.” (1). None of the people close to him focused on the hole that would be left in the entire community of rock, although it would be huge, but instead they focused on the person that would leave a hole just as gaping in their lives. (1).

            This caring, lovable guy the public was hearing about was a shock to many after Kurt’s untimely passing because his whole life he’d been painted as “whiny” and “disheveled.” (Fricke 1). But in a fantastic interview published by Rolling Stones’ David Fricke on January 27, 1994, just a few measly months before Kurt’s Death. The Rockstar told Fricke that he was happier than he had ever been in his life, and that he was a lot happier than the media made him look to be. (1). But when just a few months later he was found dead, a presumed suicide, many assumed that the whole interview was just smoke being blown for the sake of a change in image, it being obvious throughout the interview that Cobain was unhappy with his current “complaining, neurotic” persona being displayed in the media. (1). That train of thought making a lot of sense if you do believe Cobain did in fact kill himself, but after his death, however it may’ve happened, the person being described to us by those who know him best was nothing like the “complaining, neurotic” diva we had been promised by the media ever since his main-stream breakout in 1991. (1). Instead, it was much more in line with the person Kurt himself described himself as in his interview with Fricke.

            Kurt Cobain, months before his death, was happier than he had been in a very long time, but even when he was in the darkest of places abusing heroin (Fricke 1) he remained that caring, lovable, endearing, sweet, scrawny kid that just wanted to make a difference with his music, he never had the easiest life (Beggs 1), but he did great at brightening everyone else’s days, even if his was dark.

            So, even if everyone who actually knew Kurt knew what an amazing person he was, then it goes without saying that when you get depicted in the way he was his entire career, the depiction being true or false, you will be misunderstood. So is the crux of celebrity, everyone will know you, but you will be a completely different person in everyone’s mind. And they need no proof other than some article they read one time to hate you or love you forever. With all that in play it is not unreasonable that Kurt found his celebrity “impossible to deal with” even though he had been “desperate for fame” before. (“Kurt Cobain Was 'Desperate' for Fame, Says Courtney Love” 1). Cobain was misunderstood and that’s a tragedy because being understood is really the foundation for any relationship, without it, a relationship is like Nirvana without Kurt Cobain, dissolved and no longer in existence. So, whenever the media portrayed Kurt as a “whiner” (1) it is crucial to know that he wasn’t all those negative words used commonly to tear down punk stars, but instead he was the other side of the coin and the media got paid millions to misrepresent someone who his whole life just wanted to be known, and not for his downfalls but instead his loving and caring self and his music. (1). Kurt Cobain wasn’t a complainer; he spoke up for what he believed.

            Kurt Cobain was more than his music, more than his death, more than the mystery surrounding it, and he was more than the toxic narrative that the media stamped on him. He was a loving guy and he was terribly misunderstood. When looking at the person Kurt Cobain was, his music and his untimely death do have value in the complete overview of his life, but its just a shame that those side notes get to be the main title whenever we talk about someone who was as amazing as he was. And if we do have to discuss his music then in should be in the frame of him as a person, speaking his truth and it resonating with millions. And if we have to talk about his death then it should be framed in the tragic misunderstanding that was accelerated by the media and those who are always quick to judge celebrities and slow to give them any normal human compassion, that’s the story of Kurt Cobain.

            The two main schools of thought on the death of Kurt Cobain, you either believe he killed himself or he was killed, the main suspect in the murder being Courtney Love. In a poll of 57 people from all age groups, educations, and ethnic backgrounds. Here are the results, 58% of people polled believed that Kurt Cobain did in fact kill himself and there was no foul play, 30% believe that Courtney Love was directly responsible for his death, by way of murder or hiring someone to murder him, and the remaining12% believed that someone else was responsible for the death of Kurt. The two theories being explored being the two that are most commonly believed.

            Most people believe the story that, as of now, is accepted as the facts. They believe that Kurt Cobain was suicidal and depressed, and he took his life because of these things. Seattle PD also agrees with this. Even when the case was attempted to be re-opened in 2015 due to new photos of a dead Cobain the public wanted access to in hopes of shedding light on how he died. While, the photos were released, the case was never re-opened. (CBS 1). The main reason for belief in this theory, from what I surveyed, was the thought process of, “If there was foul play it would have been discovered by now.”

            Believers of this next theory think that the foul play has been discovered by fans and private investigators alike but has not been giving much credit by those running our justice system. The evidence of foul play all starts with the last three lines of Kurt Cobains alleged suicide note.

            “Please keep going Courtney, for Frances. For her life, which will be so much happier without me. I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!” (Cobain 1)

            When looking at these lines the handwriting is much larger and sloppier than that of the rest of the note, and when you read the rest of the note as a stand alone piece, it sound more like a farewell to music and his fans, then from life. He doesn’t mention his family in but one paragraph saying how his baby shows him of how good he used to be, before music, and he doesn’t mention death in any way, but instead focuses much on how he wishes he liked the fame more, like Freddie Mercury. Repeatedly, he mentions how he wishes he enjoyed his music life and all the success its wrought, but he says he just doesn’t. The working theory is that this note was meant to be a goodbye to music, and Courtney, turned it into a note about death with those last few lines. An advocate of this theory is Courtney Love’s own personal P.I.

            Tom Grant has written many books and participated in many documentaries that all point to Courtney Love being the murderer. In one of the documentaries a band member of “The Mentors” El Duce, who said Courtney offered him 50 grand to kill Kurt. El Duce got ran over by a train while drunk just a few days after said interview.

            Another take people, and especially Tom Grant, take on it is that it would’ve been impossible for him to pull the trigger. Not only months before had he been publicly happier than he had ever been (4), Kurt not being one to lie to the media for purpose of image, it seems weird he would have had such a shift in his mood. Also, the coroner found 2 liters of heroin in his system. (5). With Heroin once you shoot it up you have under 10 seconds before you’re out. Even less time when you have two Liters worth, which is such an absurd amount some think the murderer drugged him up then shot him. But somehow with that small time he was able to nicely put all his heroin supplies back in their box pull out a gun and shoot it, with his pinky finger. (5). He would’ve had to do it with his pinky because the barrel was over 30 inches and he was only 5’9”. There is even a precedent for this, Ernest Hemingway who was taller than Kurt, with a short barrel, still struggled to pull his trigger with anything other than his pinky when he committed suicide.

            So, either Kurt took two liters of heroin after writing a suicide note which he decided to change his writing on at the end, a note that doesn’t even sound like it’s about suicide till the end, then managed to tidy his gear up all before the Heroin hit his brain, or there was foul play.

Did Kurt Cobain really shoot himself using his, foot, a shotgun, heroin, and valium? The mystery shrouding the death of Kurt Cobain has grown into something of a legend bigger than anything Kurt did in his short lifetime, but many of his fans never bought the edition of the Cobain death that was being pitched to the,, so what really happened? Many think it was his wife Courtney Love, others believe the government, and some standby that it was Kurt who pulled the trigger. In this essay, we will dive into the information that is available and attempt to answer the question, who killed Kurt Cobain?

Works Cited

Beggs, Alex. “What Is Haunting Kurt Cobain's Childhood Home, Which No One Wants to Buy?” Vanity Fair, Vanity Fair, 19 Aug. 2015, www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2015/08/kurt-cobain-childhood-home-for-sale-aberdeen.

CBS News. “Kurt Cobain Death Scene Photos.” CBS News, CBS Interactive, 17 Mar. 2016, www.cbsnews.com/pictures/new-kurt-cobain-death-scene-photos/.

 “The Destructive Romance of Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love” Biography.com, A&E Networks Television, www.biography.com/news/kurt-cobain-courtney-lovhttps://www.biography.com/news/kurt-cobain-courtney-love-relationshipe-relationship.

Fricke, David. “Kurt Cobain, The Rolling Stone Interview: Success Doesn't Suck.” Rolling Stone, 30 Nov. 2018, www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/kurt-cobain-the-rolling-stone-interview-success-doesnt-suck-97194/.

“Kurt Cobain Murder Conspiracy Theories.” RationalWiki, rationalwiki.org/wiki/Kurt_Cobain_murder_conspiracy_theories.

“Kurt Cobain Was 'Desperate' for Fame, Says Courtney Love.” The Guardian, Guardian News and Media, 24 June 2014, www.theguardian.com/music/2014/jun/24/kurt-cobain-desperate-for-fame-says-courtney-love.

Reilly, Dan. “How Kurt Cobain's Friends, Family & Fellow Musicians Reacted to His Death: 20

Quotes.” Billboard, 5 Apr. 2014, www.billboard.com/articles/news/6039683/how-kurt-cobains-friends-family-fellow-musicians-reacted-to-his-death-20-quotes.